Americans Had the Honour of Having a Femme Fatale as First Lady — and They Chose to Reject Her

An attempt to unravel and explain the Melania Trump mystery and phenomenon, and why she continues to fascinate people.

Eden Bouvier
24 min readFeb 20, 2023
Former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump, dressed in Valentino and carrying her signature Hermès bag, as she leaves for Germany and Poland with her husband, former U.S. President Donald Trump, on July 5, 2017 / © The Washington Post

She is described as « the most mysterious and silent First Lady in American history », the target of all fantasies and the embodiment of the conservative America advocated by the Trump Administration. Former First Lady of the United States, Melania Trump is an enigma and an obscure object of power — she has never ceased to intrigue and fascinate both by her extreme beauty and her mystery. At no time did the American press and the American people stop criticizing her for her every move, but she stood up to them with dignity and elegance — confirming her status as the most atypical, mysterious and beautiful First Lady the United States has ever known.

It is impossible to paint a true picture of the woman who has been described as the « least popular First Lady of the United States in modern history », because there is so little information about her. It is said that she sues anyone, corporate or individual, who tries to find out who is really behind the “Melania Trump façade”, who she really is. For example, in 2016, she filed a lawsuit against the Daily Mail after they wrote and published an article about her modelling past, stating that she had served as an « escort » and offered sexual favours to wealthy clients — she won the lawsuit, pocketing over $2 million.

What makes Melania Trump so distinctive is that very little is known about her. We do know that she left her native Slovenia in the 1990s and moved to New York in 1996, that she was a successful model in Europe, and that she is part of the “Supermodels” generation — including Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss, Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell, Helena Christensen, Christy Turlington, Heidi Klum, and many others — although she was considered « too old » to have the same success as them at that time, as she was 26 when she arrived in the Big Apple.

Nothing is known about her hasty departure from Slovenia and her arrival in New York in 1996 — according to an investigation conducted by French journalist and former White House correspondent Laurence Haïm, three years passed between her departure from Slovenia and her arrival in the United States. Then she met Donald Trump in 1998 and quickly became his new lover, then his wife. And then she suddenly found herself propelled into the heart of American power, in the White House.

This is a career path that could be considered atypical, so different from that of the traditional First Ladies we’ve known until now — but the woman who constitutes it is herself atypical. So, who is this mysterious woman, who could perfectly well be described as a femme fatale, who disturbs prudish America so much, and who has succeeded in reversing and redefining the codes of American femininity ? And, above all, how did she reinvent the role of First Lady by imposing her own style ?

Former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump as she walks upon arrival at Melsbroek military airport in Steenokkerzeel, Belgium, for talks between NATO and European Union leaders in Brussels on May 24, 2017 / © Allure

Melania Trump is an object of power — a mysterious, beautiful object, one that attracts covetousness. Her beauty, her mystery and her independence were the three main factors that disturbed the American populace when she was in the White House. Because, unlike previous First Ladies, she was always in control, always independent. Where her predecessors were constantly at the beck and call of their husbands’ presidencies, always giving the image of smooth, clean, power-controlled, non-independent women — when you look at them, it is very easy to read them as open books — Melania imposed her rules from the start. She emancipated herself from all forms of power, including that of her husband’s presidency.

From the moment she moved into the presidential residence, she set up a locked and controlled communication system, leaving no room for leaks. Not a single piece of information was released during her time in the East Wing of the White House. Her former Chief of Staff, Stephanie Grisham, took it upon herself to give her total control over her communication — making it very difficult, if not impossible, for journalists to access information about the former First Lady’s actions. Melania Trump managed her image and communication with great discipline and rigour.

This is in stark contrast to the West Wing of the White House, where her President husband was based, from which leaks were permanent.

Melania Trump’s meticulous communication — and mystery — is what made her strong and was a real weapon of political communication for her husband’s presidency. Various now famous examples of this can be cited : on August 27, 2017, after Texas was hit by Hurricane Harvey, the former First Lady was seen leaving the White House wearing stilettos. This caused a furore, with many people and media outraged at the inappropriate choice of wearing such shoes at the site of a natural disaster and to support the victims. It could have ended there, but it didn’t.

Later in the day, when the presidential couple landed in the city of Corpus Christi, Texas, they once again made news. The former President proudly sported a cap with “USA” written in capital letters, while his wife, who took the time to change during the flight (switching from her black Stilettos to a pair of white Stan Smiths), had a black cap with “FLOTUS” written on it screwed onto her head. Once again, people were quick to comment. But the message they sent, despite what people may have thought, was particularly powerful.

Indeed, through their attire, given the numerous and unrelenting criticisms they have faced during the 2016 presidential campaign and, especially, since moving into the White House, they have made it clear to people and the media that their opinions hardly affect them and that they are perfectly fit to carry out their duty to protect, serve and represent the United States. They showed, by their sartorial association, that they had become this powerful presidential couple, whether people wanted them to be or not, and that critics would have to deal with it. The words “USA” and “FLOTUS” on their caps were a reminder to these people of their status and power.

And Melania even took pleasure in sending a jab at her critics by wearing stilettos for the second time, just four days after their visit to Corpus Christi, on a second trip to Texas, in the city of Houston, to help hurricane victims — further emphasising their message.

Secondly, there is the very famous but controversial “I don’t really care, do U?” jacket moment. On June 21, 2018, while on a trip to visit children detained at the New Hope Children migrant detention centre in McAllen, Texas, Melania Trump appeared wearing a jacket with “I don’t really care, do U?” written on the back, which immediately caused a scandal. She appeared with the jacket on her way to the centre and on her way back. Public opinion did not seek to know the real intentions behind her move or its real meaning, and was simply quick to castigate the former First Lady for not caring about the fate of migrants stuck at the country’s border and families forcibly separated. This was not the case — and this is the genius of the precise communication she has become an expert at.

In response to the relentless criticism she has faced since the beginning of her husband’s presidency, she proudly sported the jacket and made sure to let herself be photographed — knowing full well that it would get a lot of press. Although it was made clear that she removed the jacket before arriving at the centre, she said in an interview with ABC News that she wore it to send a « message » to the « left-wing media » who seemed to be seriously after her.

This incident provides direct evidence that Melania Trump used and created an entirely different form of political communication through clothing, rather than expressing herself directly as the so-called “traditional” First Ladies did before her. They, usually through the causes they supported, were very vocal, using the media to voice their opinions, get messages across and promote their actions. With Melania Trump, this wasn’t the case. She never gave interviews to say what she thought, she didn’t even speak out through her BE BEST Initiative — her team just sent out little press releases with lovely pictures, lovely videos to the press, and that was it.

Former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump as she listens during a meeting of the President’s Task Force on Protecting Native American Children in the Indian Health System in the State Dining Room of the White House on July 23, 2020 / © Vanity Fair

And the other method of political communication she used was silence — the former First Lady’s office has gone down in the history of American politics and presidency as the most silent and mysterious First Lady’s office of all time, as no information ever leaked from it. This has left the American people — as well as the rest of the world — wondering about the possible doings of the President’s wife, as Pulitzer Prize–winning reporter Mary Jordan wrote in her unofficial biography of Melania Trump, The Art of Her Deal: The Untold Story of Melania Trump : « On many days, her press office doesn’t answer questions about where she is. » And the date of May 14, 2018 is one of many examples of this.

On that day, Melania Trump was admitted to hospital to undergo surgery for a benign kidney condition which subsequently required a week’s rest in hospital. But here’s the thing. Apart from the fact that very little information was given about the former First Lady’s condition — with her Cabinet and the President providing only simple, evasive news, leaving the press and the public with questions — it was reported that she would be leaving hospital « two or three days » later and that she would resume public appearances very soon. Yet she remained out of the public eye for almost three weeks, and no information was given about this unexplained period of absence.

And the same happened with the Covid-19 outbreak in 2020. In October of the same year, then in the midst of a presidential re-election campaign, it was announced that the Trump presidential couple as well as their son — Barron — had tested positive for Covid-19. Again, the mystery and questions were front and centre. Melania has not been seen or heard from throughout her recovery period, with only a few rare tweets from White House officials and her Cabinet giving no further information about her condition, leaving, as usual, the public and the media in the dark.

So, the three words that best describe the former First Lady are “mystery”, “silence” and “questions”. The enigma that is Melania Trump is one of the most fascinating and interesting in the history of American politics and presidency — never before have we had to deal with such a level of mystery and questioning. « Who is she really, what does she really want, what are her real intentions ? », and so many questions to try to fill in the grey areas that make up her character.

In his world-renowned, New York Times bestselling book The 48 Laws of Power, author Robert Greene wrote : « In a world growing increasingly banal and familiar, what seems enigmatic instantly draws attention. Never make it too clear what you are doing or about to do, do not show your cards. An air of mystery heightens your presence ; it also creates anticipation. Everyone will be watching you to see what happens next, use mystery to beguile, seduce, even frighten. » People are enthralled by mystery because it invites constant interpretation, they never tire of it. Mystery cannot be grasped, and what cannot be grasped and consumed creates power. And Melania Trump understood that perfectly from the start. She used her mystery to establish her power, and this is what in particular attracts many — especially female — Trump supporters to her.

Former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump, wearing a Balenciaga coat, as she welcomes the official White House Christmas tree on November 23, 2020 / © Vogue Italia

In her tell-all book Melania and Me: The Rise and Fall of My Friendship with the First Lady, Melania Trump’s ex-best friend and former Special Advisor Stephanie Winston-Wolkoff describes the former First Lady as cold and selfish. Of course, the Trump family’s detractors agree with this description and will probably never try to find out if everything Stephanie reveals in her book is true or not.

Yet among the most loyal Trump supporters — who, of course, reject Winston-Wolkoff’s comments — is a much more discreet but equally important minority. A group of people who don’t see Melania Trump as cold and selfish, but elegant, distant and reserved. And this is understandable : if you compare her with her predecessors who served as First Ladies of the United States, you can see that there was always a moment when they let their emotions show, when they let their moods slip, when they let their masks slip. But Melania Trump never had any of that — as French journalist Laurence Haïm so aptly put it : « You can’t feel anything in her ». She has never shown the slightest emotion, has always perfectly kept her mask of a ravishing woman, extremely beautiful and well dressed.

And among this minority of Trumpists, most of whom are women, Melania Trump is a true icon. As the embodiment of conservative feminist America, the former First Lady quickly established herself as a reference and inspiration for conservative American women — and this was a major political asset for the 2016 presidential elections. In October of that year, a month before the final outcome of the elections, Melania Trump gave an interview to CNN in which she said that her husband’s comments — those in which he said he would « grab ’em [women] by the pussy » — were just « locker room talk » and that he was, in fact, a true gentleman who respected her and women. And as a result, official studies have shown that there has been a turnaround, and that women living in suburban and rural areas have overwhelmingly voted for Donald Trump rather than Hillary Clinton.

American Democratic feminists hate Melania Trump because she represents, according to them, the “trophy wife” and “submissive woman” with no major values or experience, except being the wife of a billionaire, who neither rises nor rebels against her husband. For American Republican feminists, however, this is not the case. In fact, Melania Trump represents the ultimate American conservative woman : always at the service of her husband and his ambitions, who takes care of the children, who never complains, and who stays behind and by her man no matter what. The famous motto « I stand behind » — advocated by conservative women — is the perfect illustration of this. Melania Trump represents this motto. She has always stood by her husband no matter what, and has always defended him.

However, the paradox to note is that the conservative American women who admire Melania are advocating a revival of traditional and conservative female values — in particular, they are advocating having a career and equal pay with men while embracing conservative values.

Former U.S. presidential couple Donald Trump and Melania Trump walking to the stage for the former First Lady’s Republican National Convention speech in the Rose Garden of the White House on August 26, 2020 / © Town and Country Magazine

Melania Trump is a role model for conservative women. Melania Trump has — and has since continued to have — a significant influence on American conservative women. This can be seen with the appointment of conservative Republican Justice Amy Coney Barrett to the US Supreme Court, on September 26, 2020, to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg following her death. Coney Barrett is the epitome of Melania Trump’s conservative femininity — i.e. high heels, fitted dresses to enhance her femininity, long hair and makeup. She is smart, has a career, takes care of her children, and stands behind her husband. And at the same time, she is a woman who says “bad things”, who is against abortion and is involved in politics.

The influence of the former First Lady is such that it even extends beyond the U.S. borders — in Europe, in 2022, people were particularly surprised and shocked to see a rise of right-wing politics in most countries of the continent. But what is striking is that this right-wing is above all embodied by women, who have all adopted the signature style of the conservative woman created by Melania Trump : high heels, fitted dresses to reinforce and assert their femininity, smoky-eyes and dark gaze thanks to mascara, and long hair. The two main women who embody this are Giorgia Meloni, Prime Minister and leader of Italy, and Katalin Novak, President of Hungary. Both are strong supporters of conservative values and advocate conservative feminism, which wants women to have successful careers and to be paid equally to men while remaining true to conservative values.

Novak — who is the most faithful incarnation of the Trump-influenced right-wing women, due to her dark hair similar to Melania Trump’s — and Meloni also support the values they advocate in their political speeches. The Hungarian President notes : « We, women, raise children, care for the sick, cook — we have to double up, earn a living, teach, win Nobel prizes. We know the power of words but can keep quiet and listen when necessary, and defend our families with greater courage than men if danger lurks. » While her Italian counterpart puts an emphasis on Christianity : « I am Giorgia, I am a woman, I am a mother, I am Italian, I am a Christian and you will not take that away from me ! », she famously proclaimed at a political summit in 2019. And the latter has, moreover, taken up the motto used by American Republicans — « Faith, Family, Freedom » — to illustrate her political vision : « God, Family, Homeland ».

In the United States, conservative Republican women’s admiration for Melania Trump has reached a whole new level — more and more of them are deciding to undergo plastic surgery in order to look like her, and the same goes for Ivanka Trump’s fans. This is the case of Claudia Sierra, a Houston, Texas resident and breast cancer survivor, who spent more than $50k on plastic surgery to look like Melania Trump and mark a new beginning in her life, « my rebirth » she said, in order to leave this dark phase of her life behind.

In Melania Trump’s native Slovenia, she is also greatly admired by the population, not least because her status as First Lady has led to a significant increase in tourist numbers. Notably in her home town of Svenica, where locals organize Melania Trump-themed tours and have even created two pastries in her honour that are sold in a local bakery, the first one, the “Melanija Torte”, is a white chocolate mousse pastry with nuts and edible gold, and the second one, the “First Lady Apple Pie”, is, just as the name suggests, an apple pie.

Despite what the most fervent detractors of the Trump family, who have never ceased to castigate their debut and phenomenal rise in politics, may think and say, the reference that Melania Trump constitutes for many women cannot be neglected or denied. Within the White House, women — whom journalist Laurence Haïm refers to as « Meladias » and/or « mini-Melanias »— are also inspired by her — going so far as to imitate her by wearing hair extensions and stilettos. Ivanka Trump, Kimberly Guilfoyle or Hope Hicks can be cited as perfect examples of this.

Former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump as she walks along the Colonnade at the White House on February 15, 2017 / © Newsweek

It is common thinking that Melania Trump is just the « ravishing idiot » — in the words of Laurence Haïm — who married billionaire real estate tycoon Donald Trump for his money, status and power. But this is not the case. Melania Trump is as ambitious as she is mysterious — and that is her strength. Her ambition from the beginning was to be known, to have a central and important role, and this began with her relationship with the former president in the late 1990s. As award-winning journalist and New York Times bestselling author Nina Burleigh pointed out in her book The Trump Women: Part of the Deal, the former Slovenian model, now known as the billionaire’s new girlfriend, is the one of his two previous lovers who knows him best and is able to control him, knowing exactly how the man works.

« All you do is butter [Donald Trump] up and make him feel like a man all the time because that’s what this kind of guy needs », she told PEOPLE. She went on to theorize about the man that is Donald Trump and his world : « You have to toe the line in terms of this sort of toxic male person at the centre of everything and make him feel safe as a man. That’s what [Melania Trump] was able to do from the very beginning. That was her special superpower. » In private, behind the closed doors of their Trump Tower penthouse, Melania Trump wields real power over her partner, she has the central and important role she has always dreamed of.

Indeed, in 2016, when the scandalous grabbing-women-by-the-pussy audio tape was leaked by Access Hollywood, it was revealed that Donald Trump was « terrified » of confronting his now-wife — as she had the power to destroy his political career and ambition to become President at the snap of a finger and all by herself. The power she wields has even gone further — after her husband’s presidential victory, Melania Trump renegotiated the terms of her marriage to her liking in order to « amend her financial arrangement with [Donald] Trump », which she described as « taking care of Barron [Trump] », to ensure that their son would be equal to her husband’s other three children in terms of financial opportunities and inheritance.

Many people have tried to decipher the relationship and the strong bond between Melania and Donald Trump. What can be said is that she has a real influence on him. She controls him. Jeff Roe, a well-known GOP strategist and consultant, has said that Melania brings him « stability and grace, something that humanizes him » — which is not untrue when you see the difference between the pre-Melania and post-Melania Donald Trump. It is a calmer, more composed, less agitated Donald Trump that we are now dealing with.

In her book The Art of Her Deal, journalist Mary Jordan explores the very interesting hypothesis that Melania Trump is, in fact, a wise and ambitious woman, a meticulous planner, and a woman of power who knows how to play with fire in the long run. She is the woman who can get what she wants from one of the most powerful men in the world, notably the arrangement of their pre-nuptial agreement to her liking. She’s not a pawn, but an active, long-time game player. And as one Palm Beach insider told PEOPLE : « It is safe to say she plays the game for personal gain. » It has always been said that she has more to gain by staying with her husband than by leaving — and Melania just shows what a astute strategist and chess player she is.

Former U.S. President Donald Trump speaking next to former U.S. Vice President Mike Pence, former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump, and Conan, the U.S. military dog who participated in and was wounded during the U.S. raid in Syria that killed ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, at the White House on November 25, 2019 / © NBC News

In the White House, Melania Trump was more influential than people might think. She was Donald Trump’s closest and — arguably — most important advisor, the one he always listened to and « whose instincts he respected », and the one he turned to at the end of the day for advice on what to do. Through her advisory work, she was involved in several crucial decisions of her husband’s presidency, including, for example, choosing Mike Pence as Vice President — for his loyalty, she said, a quality that the former President valued highly — or dropping his policy of separating migrant families in detention centers at the country’s border.

But there is a recently revealed scandal that would further support the view that the former First Lady was more intimately involved in government affairs than one might think. Indeed, in his book Soldier Secretary: Warnings from the Battlefield & the Pentagon about America’s Most Dangerous Enemies, former Acting U.S. Secretary of Defense Christopher C. Miller recounts the U.S. military’s orchestrated raid on ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi in October 2019. With the President and his advisors focused on the high-level military operation, one person — the second most important person after the President — entered the Situation Room. Who was it ? First Lady Melania Trump.

Her unexpected and unexplained presence in the Situation Room surprised and questioned many in the room. But there was no time for interrogation — a military operation to eliminate the leader of the most — and it is disgusting to say, but unfortunately so — reputed terrorist organization of recent years was underway. Then-Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, seated next to the President, gave up his seat for her, and the Commander-in-Chief introduced the First Lady to those in the room « as though they would not have known who she was otherwise » and asked that she be briefed on the events at hand.

At the end of the raid, when there was talk of what President Trump was going to announce to the press and public about the military operation, his wife took matters into her own hands and suggested that her husband talk about the dog involved in the mission and report on its exploits — stating that « everyone loves dogs ». And that’s exactly what he did.

In his statement to the press the day after the operation, the President did not fail — as usual — to exaggerate his words and the course of the military operation. As Christopher Miller notes in his book, President Trump recounted that Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was « whimpering in his final moments ». The former Acting U.S. Secretary of Defense, however, does not remember this detail — but he let it slide, explaining that it was the former President’s communication genius — exaggerating things, talking a lot and making people feel like he was saying nothing when in fact it wasn’t the case, and thus giving the real information between the lines — speaking of the « masterful strategy of psychological warfare » of which he had become an expert, and that it was a testament to his « supremely confident, relaxed and in-control » demeanour as Commander-In-Chief.

But during his official statement to reporters, when asked « And you watched all this from the Sit Room ? Who were you in the Sit Room with when you watched this ? », the former President replied : « Secretary Esper, some of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Mark Milley, some of the generals. We had great military people in that room. And we had great intelligence people — Robert O’Brien. It was really great. » Deliberately omitting the presence of one person : his wife, former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump.

What was she doing there ? Why was she there ? And most importantly, what were her interests — if any — in being in the room ? Only a select group of people — the President and his closest advisers — have access to the Situation Room, and these people are normally required to have security clearance to gain access. It remains unknown whether former First Lady Melania Trump had the security clearance or not. But it may be worth looking into the matter : either she did have it — or she did not.

If she had it, which is — let’s be clear — highly questionable because no First Lady before her had security clearance, it was surely the will of the President (or even of the President and the First Lady together), wanting her to be involved in major national and international affairs because her advice was, among other things, of great help and importance. If she did not have it — which is even worse and more questionable, since she was not supposed to have access to the Situation Room, especially since she did not have security clearance — it must also have been the will of the President (or even, again, of the President and the First Lady together) to have her present at his side to follow the special military operation and to have her take part in international political decisions.

Former White House press secretary Jen Psaki, who served in both the Obama and Biden administrations, commented that this was « not normal ». This disconcerting revelation inevitably raises questions — it seems fairly clear that this was clearly not the first time the former First Lady had been involved in domestic and international affairs. Vanity Fair asks a very good question about this : in « how many other matters of grave national security did the then First Lady sit in on ? » And, more importantly, will the same happen during a possible second term of office for her husband ?

Former U.S. President Donald Trump and former U.S. First Lady Melania Trump, upon leaving the White House, speaking to reporters on site on January 20, 2021 / © Vanity Fair

It is generally agreed that Melania Trump remains an enigma, a mystery, a phenomenon for everyone, especially for those who try to find out more about her, her past, her present life, and her secrets. A key player in her husband’s presidency, she has never ceased to disturb prudish America and to make people talk about her — shaking up the codes of the American presidency and the office of First Lady ? She was an expert at it. In a way, this was her signature.

Is she a submissive wife to her husband or a clever strategist who loves to play chess ? We can only speculate — but there is evidence that allows us to question in a more serious way the true nature of the First Lady that many Americans reject : Mary Jordan told PEOPLE that the people she spoke to as part of her research all agreed on one thing — Melania Trump was a true woman of ambition : « When I was in Slovenia, it kept coming up — also in Italy, when I was talking to people — she acts like a chess player. Several people would say that she’s there, doesn’t say anything and then comes out with her moves. »

Her silence is gold. Ideal for her husband, to whom she has always been — and still is — faithful. The couple she forms with Donald Trump is powerful, but above all solid. The silence she has always shown and for which she is known above all — a silence that will be remembered in history — has in fact never equated to inaction. As the President’s loyal and arguably most important ally, it seems appropriate to suggest that she has been the indirect architect of the Trump Administration’s most significant decisions.

Hated on one side, admired on the other — opinions differ about Melania Trump. What is certain is that she has undeniably left her mark on the White House and on the history of American presidency, standing out completely from the First Ladies who preceded her. So what can we learn from the legacy of the First Femme Fatale in American history ? The New York Times coyly suggests : « Missteps, mystery and, in the end, absence ».

References :

--

--

Eden Bouvier

Political Science student at university, I write about racism, feminism and international politics | My Ko-fi : https://ko-fi.com/edenbouvier